Sunday, December 19, 2010

Pay toilet injures man


A pay toilet is responsible for injuring a man near Villingili Ferry Terminal in Male' today after the pay toilet was found to have been constructed of too-hard materials and therefore failed to cushion the fall like a Kurl-on mattress when the man fell over onto the pay toilet after a crane he was said to be "operating" toppled over on its "wheels", according to local media.

Police, however, told Haveeru that the Bangladeshi expatriate did not incur any "serious" injuries, leading many readers to wonder what "serious" actually amounts to.

So, "Was he bruised?" TL asked a bystander who wished to remain anonymous as he replied, "No idea, there was no externally visible injuries but then you have to do a scan in order to make sure there are no internal injuries as well but I doubt that local health service providers in the idyllic capital Male' are capable of that."

TL understands that the man was taken to the waterfront Indira Gandhi Memorial Hospital at the backside of Male' but the eyewitness who followed us to IGMH's casualty lobby cast doubt whether the man, if he had received any injuries, could be healed here in Maldives as the eyewitness made the dubious claim, which we are very unhappy to report, that "IGMH is actually a not-so-secret 'platform' whereby Maldivian patients can be 'coerced' to take off to actual 'proper' treatment in Thiruvananthapuram in order to benefit the Indian economy because Maldives enjoys excellent bilateral relations with neighbors."

According to the local Haveeru, the closeted promiscuous crane reached over the pay toilet during the time the toilet was being in use simultaneously by two grown adult men. However, surprisingly, they were also not injured according to Haveeru but there was no further confirmation whether the Government deployed divers and marine researches to determine whether there were any visible cracks in the pay toilet after its ravishing ordeal.

Sub-inspector Ahmed Shiyam was quoted by local media as saying that the crane toppled over because it tried to "park."

"The incident happened when the crane tried to park in the area," Shiyam was again quoted by Haveeru but we at TL understands that Haveeru usually muddles up Dhivehi words to sex up its headlines and therefore, what Shiyam may have actually meant is that the hard-hitting crane tried to actually "land" on top of the fragile toilet instead of "park" on it as cranes usually land on objects and places.

"The driver (the Bangladesh man) was injured to some extent but it wasn't a way too big ("maa bodu aniyaa") injury," Shiyam was quoted to have concluded.

After-word: A reader had posted this comment advising Haveeru not to sex up its headlines...

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